belly pillow.

post-gym snuggles with mama, brady, and the baby.

not very comfortable for 2 out of 3 of us, but bradykins doesn't seem to mind the belly pillow.

a quiet evening to myself. while WAITING.

tonight i had a sitter for a few hours just for a mama break (mike is working evenings all week).  i went out for a pedi, some spicy thai food + magazine reading, and errand running. it was nice & quiet and i'm trying to remember that even though i want little girl here SOONER rather than later, these moments i'll have to myself are fleeting. trying to be grateful in this time of stress & not just focused on all the "whens" and "what if's".  not easily done, but i'm working on it mentally.

fitting this am.

in the mornings, i read a devotional book "Jesus calling" & this morning's was particularly fitting after a few days of anxiety related to when this baby is coming and mike leaving for two weeks. please come soon, little one!

waiting. sort of patiently.

37 weeks, 3 days.

feeling pretty good besides just wanting baby OUT anytime now. daddy leaves on sunday for two whole weeks in texas (military training- mandatory, of course) and we are all feeling the pressure of "what if" baby doesn't come before he leaves.  i'm starting to feel anxious with each day that passes, one less day that if she did come, he would have at home with us.  it's not that i won't have help, we just want daddy to be part of this integral transition for our family.  he wants it badly.  and yet there's nothing we can do (that we haven't already tried) to make her come on our time schedule.  it's testing my patience & my anxiety in a whole new way.

a week ago, i was dilated to 3cm & 50% effaced, so i guess i expected her over the weekend. then our false alarm trip to the hospital friday. since then, i've been back to feeling pretty normal. however, i have noticed - she must have grown over the last few days because WHOA my belly is straight out front more than usual all of a sudden!! i'm feeling BIG! thankful to not have any swelling really though in my hands or feet like i did with brady by this point (actually at this point, i'd already birthed him...not helping with my patience level this pregnancy).

when are you coming, little one? maybe once we figure out your name??? :)

working out.

so thankful i've been able to be super active this pregnancy!  i find myself at the gym doing barre classes or working out on the elliptical 4-5 days a week still (before wedding week...it all came to a halt for the festivities).  while julie was in town we even snuck in a workout!  i love being able to work out and feel like it's contributed to much less weight gain & water retention this pregnancy.

both my babies.

baby sitting on baby.

i'll miss carrying B on my bump like this!

pillow mania.

sleeping with four pillows these days. whatever it takes to keep mama comfy at night!

toddler-mama life.

monkey on my back! love him too much.

book reading.

daddy is gone a lot right now finishing up his mba & working, so it's just me and bubba a lot in the evenings.  i'm tired by end of the day, late in pregnancy, so we have found lots of fun quiet things to do together. thankfully brady LOVES to be read to, so we sit in his playroom a lot reading together and the time together & snuggles are precious.  love how he's holding onto my hand in this pic.

last shift.

i worked my last shift at the hospital today!  at least until the fall, IF i decide to go back. i'm not sure yet. part of me can't imagine not working as a nurse, having that part of my life come to a close (even for a season).  i've been a nurse for almost 13 years!  but then the other part of me wants to be at home, raising my babies, and soaking up as much as i can of this season of my life too. i waited a long time to have these littles and i don't want to waste that opportunity to slow down a little and raise them myself, not have them be with sitters for such long days.  so, time will tell.  i'll decide this fall when my maternity leave is over.  but for now, i'm grateful to have the next few weeks until baby sister arrives free from work shifts.  i'm excited to work on her room, prep for kate's upcoming wedding, and soak up time with my little family of three before we grow!

a sprinkle for baby!

my sweet friends hosted the most beautiful little baby sprinkle this weekend, to celebrate baby girl. jen hosted at her house & we had the best time. it was really laid back...beautiful decorations, such good food & drink, and the best part was that i just got to sit around and visit with my friends.  we talked for hours!  i got some really fun presents - mostly clothes & blankies for baby. so excited to put them all away in her room!

i turned 32 weeks the day of my party. here's what i wore...

whoa, baby bump!

my adorable friends suz & whitney are pregnant with little girls also!! they're both due a few days apart in september. can't wait for our little crew to grow with these sweet additions!!

early & late bump.

on the left, morning bump.

on the right, bedtime bump.

it gets so much bigger throughout the day!

(30 weeks)

bedtime snuggles.

bedtime snuggles with mama, big brother & the bump :)

first day back!

march 20: my first day back to work since december 27!

i took a few months off through the winter because of the flu epidemic in colorado. the vaccine proved to be about 40% effective this year, and we were seeing a LOT of flu cases in the ER.  pregnancy is a higher risk category so i just didn't want to have the exposure unnecessarily since i don't technically have to work.  the time off was wonderful in a surprising way. it was almost a "test-run" for being a full time stay at home mom, and i actually loved it.  i didn't know if i would be bored or find meaning in staying home full time but i loved it, and felt more relaxed in general.  i decided to go back a few days a month through the end of my pregnancy and then decide over my maternity leave if i want to return to work at all with two babies. 

my first shift back was good though, and i remembered why i do love being a nurse also. tough decisions lie ahead for me, deciding what to do. in some ways i can't imagine my 13 year nursing career coming to a close, but in others i think this season of my life may have more meaning to be to stay at home and raise babies & run a home with more peace and balance.  hopefully time this summer with two littles (not to mention building a house, selling a house, moving, etc!!!!) will bring some peace & clarification to me about what the best decision for our family is.

end of the day - 25 weeks.

by end of the day, my baby bump is HUGE! it's much smaller in the mornings, still, thankfully...

mama's birthday.

we went out for lunch on my birthday! it was a gorgeous 70 degree day, which called for flip flops & patio seating. had such a good day with my boys and feeling so grateful for all we are looking forward to this year...

"getting" it.

when i ask what's in mama's tummy, brady says "a baby!" it's been awesome to have had a couple of my girlfriends (megs & chrissy) have new babies in the last few months, because it's given brady and me the opportunity to talk about new brothers or sisters and what we do when they cry, etc.  he's even started taking some of his stuffed animals, fake crying, and then rocking and patting and shh-ing them.  it's so sweet to see him start to get it just a little!  i know he's in for big changes come summer time but i think in his own little way he's understanding a bit of it.

daily coke.

mama is living on her daily coke:)  makes up just a LITTLE for not being able to have an afternoon coffee during naptime!!

new year's eve 2014.

mike had to work new year's eve, so brady and i rang in the new year together (yeah right, we were both asleep by 9pm haha).  we toasted with coke & root beer, and shared a pizza. the perfect quiet evening for a pregnant mama & two year old!!

for the growing family...

santa brought mama a new car for Christmas! gotta make room for an extra carseat!! i'm just a LITTLE bit excited...